ULTRAKILL - The Last Update!: This Blasted Game Almost Made Me Feel Young Again. Almost.
I didn't ask for a retro FPS to inject adrenaline directly into my eyeballs, yet here we are. This 'demo' is far too good for its own good, forcing me to confront the inconvenient truth that some modern games can, on occasion, be genuinely excellent.
An Unexpected Rush of Blood to the Head
I loaded up *ULTRAKILL*, ready for another tired homage to the 90s, another pixelated arena with a bland shotgun and some barely animated demons. My finger hovered over Alt+F4, poised for immediate escape. Then the game started. One second I was yawning, the next I was rocketing through the air, shotgun-swapping into a railgun, parrying a projectile, and slamming a demon into a wall, all while a 'ULTRAKILL' banner flashed across the screen. My eyes, which usually prefer to be glazing over these days, were wide open. It was a jolt, an electric shock I hadn't felt since my first glorious run through *Doom* back in '93. I hate admitting when a game surprises me, but this one did. It kicked me, hard, and told me to pay attention.
The Core Loop, or How My Hands Started Cramping
This isn't just a fast FPS, it's a *relentlessly* fast FPS. Imagine if *Quake* and *Devil May Cry* had a hyperactive, blood-soaked baby, then fed it pure caffeine. The movement is fluid, frantic, and necessary. You slide, you dash, you wall-jump, you dive, all while switching between an absurd arsenal. Shotgun, pistol, nailgun, railgun, rocket launcher, each with multiple firing modes, and you're expected to use them all, constantly. The 'style meter' isn't just a gimmick, it's the game's core philosophy, demanding aggressive, varied play. Get hit, lose style. Stand still, lose style. It's a constant pressure cooker, which, to be honest, usually annoys me. But here, the combat is so damn satisfying, it's hard to put down. It's almost too good, making every other shooter feel like I'm slogging through mud.
Visuals and Gore: A Love Letter to My Inner Teenager
Visually, it's a glorious mess. A retro aesthetic that actually works, not just for nostalgia points. The low-poly environments are clean enough to prevent clutter, letting the real stars shine: the explosions, the particle effects, and oh god, the blood. It's a fountain of viscera, a painting of crimson that splatters across every surface. Enemies don't just die, they explode into satisfying chunks, adding to the ballet of destruction. The sound design complements this perfectly, each weapon having a distinct, punchy report, and the soundtrack, while not exactly my usual symphony, gets the job done, keeping the adrenaline flowing. It's the kind of game my teenage self would have covered his bedroom walls in posters for, despite my adult self complaining about its audacity.
When Modern Fluidity Meets Old-School Fury (And Wins)
What *ULTRAKILL* truly gets right, and I say this through gritted teeth, is how it blends the best of both worlds. It has the raw, unadulterated speed and challenge of classic arcade shooters, the ones that ate all your quarters, but it layers on the precise, combo-driven mechanics of a character action game. Developers, pay attention: this is how you innovate without abandoning what made us love games in the first place. You didn't just slap a fresh coat of paint on *Doom*, you rebuilt the engine with a jet pack and a flamethrower. The movement tech, the weapon swapping, the parries, it all feels incredibly modern and polished, making the 'retro' visuals a stylistic choice rather than a limitation. If only more games bothered to learn from history instead of just poorly imitating it.
The Unbearable Weight of My Own High Standards (Met, Annoyingly)
I usually spend these sections ranting about missed opportunities or how a game fails to live up to its hype. Not *ULTRAKILL*. The standout feature is simply the sheer, unapologetic, unadulterated *fun* of its combat. Every encounter is a puzzle, a high-stakes dance where you're constantly evaluating your arsenal, your position, and your next stylish kill. It’s hard to replicate that feeling, that flow state where everything clicks and you become a god of destruction. I walked in cynical, I walked out... well, still cynical, but with a slight, almost imperceptible nod of approval. Don't tell Hakita I said that. They'll get a big head, and then every indie dev will think they're special. Only a few are. This is one of them, damn it.
Rating Breakdown
For a 'demo' or 'early access,' this thing feels more solid than most finished AAA titles I've suffered through lately.
They took a Boomer Shooter, slapped a character action game on top, and somehow made it work, a combination I genuinely hadn't seen executed this well.
It's free, for crying out loud, and delivers more high-octane fun than games I paid full price for, which is just insulting.
I spent hours trying to perfect levels, which is far more effort than I usually expend, a testament to its infuriatingly addictive loop.
The retro aesthetic is functional and gets the job done, but the sound of bullets and explosions, now that's where the real magic happens.
Chasing that 'ULTRAKILL' rank is a genuine hook, making me begrudgingly return to levels I thought I was done with.
What Didn't Annoy Me
- Alright, fine, the combat is incredibly deep and satisfying, I'll admit it.
- The movement system is genuinely next-level, making other FPS games feel like molasses.
- For a free demo, the amount of content and replay value is surprisingly generous.
- The sheer style and over-the-top gore are perfectly executed, a true power fantasy.
- It actually pushes the FPS genre forward, which I rarely see these days.
What Made Me Sigh
- Dear developers, why must everything be so *fast*? My old bones can only take so much.
- The constant visual bombardment can be a bit much, sometimes I just want to see where I'm going.
- The learning curve is steeper than a vertical cliff face, you really have to earn your 'ULTRAKILL' status.
- The limited content of the demo only serves to frustrate me more, now I have to wait for the full game.
- My hands legitimately ache after a long session, you owe me some physical therapy.
Look, if you're like me, tired of half-baked shooters and yearning for the days when games actually challenged you, *ULTRAKILL* is a rude awakening. It's frantic, it's gory, and it demands your full attention, which, to my unending annoyance, it completely earns. If you've got the reflexes of a caffeinated squirrel and a high tolerance for pixelated blood, dive in. If you prefer your games to be a relaxing stroll, stay far away, because this will chew you up and spit out your broken controller. Go play it, then come back and complain with me about how it makes every other game feel sluggish. You're welcome, I guess.
Played this game? Share your score.
You rated this /10
More Like This
Loot Brute Demo Review: Another Pixel Roguelite, But This One Actually Rolls Right. Mostly.
Just when I thought I'd seen every pixel art roguelite gimmick under the sun, along comes Loot Brute. I swear, my eye-rolling muscles are getting a workout, but this one managed to hold my attention for a bit.
Garden Beetle Review: I Played 50 Levels of Vegetable Anxiety So You Could Make an Informed Decision
I downloaded Garden Beetle expecting to uninstall it in fifteen minutes. Four hours later, I'm still here, furious at a digital ladybug and questioning my life choices.
Needy Nebula Review: I Built a Planet for Aliens and All I Got Was This Weird Sense of Satisfaction
An arcade planet builder where you shoot hearts at enemies and collect aliens sounds like someone's fever dream, but here I am, three hours in, actually caring about whether my space pigs have enough resources. What is happening to me?
Rogue Piece Review: A Chess Roguelike That Made Me Forget to Be Annoyed (Briefly)
I've played every "chess but different" game since Battle Chess made me wait 30 seconds per animation in 1988. This one actually kept me clicking through turns instead of alt-tabbing to complain on forums. Barely.